10/12/2017 — Life
What started as my inaugural bee sting became a very difficult season of stretching, growth and shedding old things. I sat in the car as hurricane Harvey rocked the very small two door vehicle back and forth in a gas station lot, wondering, “why in the world am I out in the middle of a destructive storm?” It was around 7 or 8 in the morning. “Am I crazy?” I looked back through the past 12 or so hours and took stock. After undergoing a very difficult few days of disturbing dreams and feeling the chill of fear for the first time, I was feeling pretty crazy. Several hours earlier around 1am or so, I sat around looking at a home filled with almost 10 years of stuff.
Stuff that carried lots of bad memories, stuff that represented bondage and stuff that entangled rather than promoted freedom. Our eldest child had also just begun having trouble sleeping as well. It really did all happen overnight. What used to be peaceful nights, with children that coasted beautifully to bed every night before 7pm became a struggle to bring peace and to get the children to sleep before 11pm! I was furious! How in the world did all this happen? I spent so much time praying and trying my best to keep everyone at peace and for a while it felt peaceful.
So, I was wondering, what had I done or what had been done to interrupt and shake up our house. I was still nursing a 5 month old throughout the night, not sleeping well and on an unintentional fast. I spent lots of time in my closet pouring over my bible, often in tears, asking God, am I Job or am I Jonah. Had I gone in the wrong direction and found myself in a proverbial whale or was there something bigger than me going on?
So here I was, in the midst of a hurricane. Following God’s lead or what I have come to call spiritual breadcrumbs. I sat in the car with literal “junk in my trunk” wondering where I could legally dump it. After all, no one wants to end up on someone’s surveillance camera illegally dumping or going potty after a long night out drinking no other available options (but that’s another story entirely) So here I am ready to get that chain off my neck! Once I figured out where to dump it, I then felt God calling me to go into a store nearby. I was letting myself be led by faith and I wasn’t sure why I was in that store. As I walked I then ran into someone I knew. I was following the breadcrumbs and there I was running into a person while following God’s lead. So after I caught up with my friend, I kept walking
then my eyes caught a mirror.
I jumped backwards. Not only were my pants on backwards, but they were also inside out, as was my shirt and my hair still in my sleeping cap. I saw that mirror, I startled myself and decided it was time to take myself home before I was escorted of the premises! No wonder my friend was looking at me a bit strange!